Gone peeing

No. 1 or No. 2?

I'm going to start announcing my whereabouts like this woman at the Culinaria garage tollbooth. She didn't say whether she washed her hands afterward.

A say-something-hat day

Does anybody still wear a hat? Yes, apparently.

I'm trying to start the new year with a faster iPhone, so I'm clearing off and archiving some photos. I took this picture of some guys in funny hats at the Arch early this summer.

Finally, a real person at Charter

A screengrab of my riveting exchange
with @CharterDylan

While Penny Hubbard's comically large necklace is entertaining, those Charter Christmas PSAs with elected officials urging us to "refrain from texting while driving" are just awful. One would hope politicians could deliver words in a more convincing manner.

Last night, after seeing roughly 10 of the ads over the course of two hours, I Tweeted. And this morning, Charter responded.

After years of horrible customer service from Charter, this is refreshing — just knowing someone is listening. Thanks, @CharterDylan!

Find more real people from Charter: http://www.charter.com/Umatter2Charter.

Dear Esquire:

Words mean things, too.

Give it a rest with the obscured coverlines.

Holy nutcrackers

Note that Mary uses her chin and not her mouth.
And that the baby Jesus is vaguely nut-shaped. 

Weird.

Here comes 30

Omits time of birth: 2:38 a.m.

Also, Grandma gave me this: a card (written by Mom) that Dad gave her on the day I was born, nearly 30 (30!!) years ago.

Lordy.

From the archives

No free buffet lunches were won with these cards. Ever.

Grandma just pulled out her wallet to show me some photos, and this caught my eye: my business card from the college newspaper, The Capaha Arrow, circa 2003.

God, the kerning on that P-A pair is awful. I've come a long way.

Amy Sedaris on 'WWHL'

Mostly, I'm posting this here so I can rewatch it at my leisure. But you can enjoy it, too.

Theater review: Circus gets upstaged in 'Cirque Dreams Holidaze'

"Cirque Dreams Holidaze," now playing at the Fox Theatre, is surprisingly short on cirque.

Not traditional clowns-and-elephants circuses, Cirque Dreams' shows are heavy on theatrics and original music. But those elements aren't particularly strong in this incarnation of the franchise, created and directed by Neil Goldberg.

While none of the circus acts in "Holidaze" are especially astounding, they are a pleasure to watch: A pair of aerialists twist and glide through a spinning ring; a cooing baby elf climbs high into the air on a tower of chairs and milk bottles; a pair of penguin roller-skaters race atop a circular platform; and a husband-and-wife team performs a beautiful aerial dance with a long piece of fabric, often soaring above the first few rows of the audience.

But there's a lot competing for attention, and too often the circus is upstaged by the other characters. Even the busy set is distracting, and the dim, neon lighting doesn't do much to highlight what we're supposed to pay attention to.

"Holidaze" attempts, like too many circuses, to have a plot: The Christmas ornaments have come to life. It's a fun idea, but there is little follow-through, making every scene feel random. Several odd characters come and go for no reason, including a moon-headed couple resembling onetime McDonald's mascot Mac Tonight and a group of eerie, floating children's faces. In one scene, actors appear, inexplicably, with hand puppets.

"Holidaze" comes with the requisite audience interaction, including a child who is plucked from the crowd and sent onstage (too soon we determine the child is with the cast) and a fun (albeit belabored) routine where a conductor teaches five audience members to play handbells.

The show includes a few familiar Christmas tunes, but the original music and lyrics by Jill Winters and David Scott are forgettable. It's often a struggle to decipher what the songs are about, though more than one hint, oddly, at the economy.

Emily Matheson, in a hoopy dress that seems taken from Lady Gaga's closet, is a standout, singing beautifully as the Ice Queen. It's a shame she doesn't have better material to work with.

There is plenty here for children to enjoy — if they're not scared by the show's dark undertones. But grown-ups likely will be the ones who leave "Cirque Dreams Holidaze" feeling a bit dazed and confused.

By Gabe Hartwig • ©2010 St. Louis Post-Dispatch, STLtoday.com • Published 12.23.10

Postal Service: Sorry we destroyed and lost your mail

We care.

Half an envelope, redacted for my protection.

A portion of an envelope once containing a Christmas card arrived in my mailbox today. Thanks, United States Postal Service.

A holiday surprise

Handmade social-media ornaments on the Christmas
tree at my desk. Also visible are Weatherbird's
underpants and a monkey wearing a crown.

I just noticed somebody left some awesome social-media ornaments on my Barbie-size Christmas tree! I have a feeling it was Erica. Or Weatherbird.

Features potluck

My plate. Oy.

Thank goodness Holiday Potluck Week is over. Last Tuesday was the features department potluck, and Wednesday was the newsroom potluck. There was so much tasty food, which made me want to nap at my desk.

Tuesday, I contributed a delicious mushroom bread pudding (the brownish pile at the bottom); Wednesday I just ate.

Christmas at the Galleria

Horizontal.

Vertical.

Pickle surprise

Pickles in pouches at Sam's Club

Warning: You cannot unsee this.

What's for dinner?

Semi-homemade.

Tonight, I made fettuccine with shrimp and pesto-cream sauce. Cheese-filled breadsticks by Market Pantry. Neighbor Betsey stopped by and mocked me for photographing it.

Snowy Locust Street

Looking east

Looking west

The view from the roof of the garage. Just moments before these photos were taken, I fell down on the ice in the garage. My bag of Jack in the Box breakfast was unharmed.

Gym, tan, laundry, arcade

Arcade situation.

More adventures in WTF'ery at Crestwood Court.

Mannequin orgy

Capacity: six naked mannequins

Couldn't resist photographing this scene outside the fitting rooms at the Gap at Crestwood Court. If you count these guys, there were 10 people in the mall that day.

Like, a food emergency?

Food-court emergency

I don't understand how Crestwood Court stays afloat. I only go for its Gap, which is always dead but with many discounts.

Workers pack the P-D with protective Styrofoam

Looking east at the Post-Dispatch at 900 N. Tucker Blvd.
The top of the black portion of the building is street level.

Looking north from the remaining portion of North Tucker Boulevard.
In the distance, trucks are hauling in more Styrofoam blocks. 

I stood outside watching the Tucker Boulevard construction for a long time today. These Styrofoam blocks are going in because the Post-Dispatch's basement walls weren't built to withstand the weight of dirt. Dirt and street will go on top. Fascinating.

Theater review: NonProphets' 'Reckless' is a no-frills holiday treat

Christmas has arrived early, and we owe the NonProphet Theater Company (and maybe even Santa) a nice thank-you card for giving us "Reckless," which closes the company's 2010 season on a happily sardonic note.

The dark comedy by Craig Lucas ("The Light in the Piazza," "Prelude to a Kiss") plays out over 20 years, beginning one snowy Christmas Eve when Tom (played by Tom Lehmann) confesses to his wife, Rachel (Michelle Hand), that he's hired a hit man to kill her.

Rachel flees into the darkness, still wearing her nightgown and slippers, and begins a road to self-discovery and eventual happiness.

While "Reckless" isn't exactly a show about Christmas, the holiday serves as a touchstone to mark the progression of time and highs and lows in Rachel's life.

Hand — full of energy and possessing a crystal-clear understanding of the character — delivers a superb Rachel. Her performance is compelling to the point where we find ourselves sharing many of the emotions Rachel experiences. (Also, Hand is adorable.)

Ben Ritchie displays good range as Lloyd, a soft-spoken physical therapist, and Katie Donnelly is his wife, Pooty, a paraplegic mute. The two adopt Rachel into their family, and, as she soon learns, the couple is hiding more than a few secrets.

The cast also includes, playing multiple roles, Raynard Fox, Elizabeth Graveman and Theresa Masters (who expertly portrays six different therapists).

The characters in "Reckless" seem to exist in a world with no authority figures. And we aren't even sure why Tom decided to have Rachel killed — the domino that sets the whole thing into motion. The show is dominated by so many plot twists that her attempted murder turns out to not be crucial information anyway.

NonProphet is a company known for its no-frills style, and director Robert Mitchell doesn't stray from that method with "Reckless." At times — a scene where an actor holds a telephone and wears a sign reading "I am a phone booth," for instance — the production feels almost like a skit. The scenery and props are adequate, if a little shabby, but the actors are what matter here.

By Gabe Hartwig • ©2010 St. Louis Post-Dispatch, STLtoday.com • Published 12.08.10

Looking like Christmas

After a week of shlepping boxes up from the basement, moving furniture around and replacing nonworking lights, the annual Holiday Masterpiece is complete. Ta-da.

I know what someone is getting for Christmas

Housecats

Go-go-gadget arm

Q&A: Young actress takes Dorothy on the road in 'Oz'

There are few stories more familiar than "The Wizard of Oz." Maybe that's what makes it such a good show for the Fox Theatre to book for Thanksgiving weekend. We chatted with Kate Bristol, who just joined the cast as Dorothy, about her new role in "Oz."

I was reading some of your tweets yesterday, and it looks like you're still in college? I am! I'm studying musical theater at Pace University, but I'm trying to minor in literature, or something of the like.

This is your professional stage debut. Tell me about the other work you've done. It is. I've done work through my childhood and adolescence in Texas, so some regional theaters and mostly community theaters, and then I went to college, and I've done some college shows. It was after a particularly trying year of college that I auditioned for this show, thinking, "Oh, I'll just give it a shot," and then I booked it! It was a really pleasant surprise.

How will you balance a tour with attending college? A lot of people have asked me this, and I think I'm a little crazy. I worked it out with my academic professors for this semester that I will finish the semester online while on the tour bus. And next semester, I will take it completely online. What that basically means is that, during the day or when we're at the hotel or changing cities on the bus, I'm gonna be doing research, and I'll have books with me, and I'm gonna be e-mailing in papers while we're being transported to the next city. It's a little crazy. ... It's a little frazzling, but it's actually really fun.

How many hours are you taking? I'm taking 14 hours this semster. Most of those are dance and musical-theater classes. I only have two academic classes, and so for my musical-theater classes, I'm writing journals about my performing experience and the process of which I develop the character, and it's kind of like work study. I'm working in what I'm being trained in. It's actually highly educational.

You've also done some voiceover work? I have! I am a voiceover actress for FUNimation. They record animes in the English voices, and they do that in Texas. I started doing that job when I was 13, and I grew up working in voiceover. That's what I consider my home acting job, I suppose. Whenever I'm in Texas, I'll go and work a couple of hours. I love voice acting.

Do you also love anime, or does that just come with the job? I wasn't an anime fan until I started the job, but now I see all the work that goes into it, so I am an appreciative anime fan.

What's your schedule been like lately? I wake up about 6:30. And I take an hour-and-a-half-long commute to the rehearsal studio. We get there about 9:30 to 10, and we start a full run-through of the show. After that, we work on all the specific scenes that need tuning, whether it's an acting thing or a dance thing. It is a full, full working day until 6 o'clock. It's busy, and it's awesome!

Have you always been a fan of "The Wizard of Oz"? Oh, I have. I grew up on "The Wizard of Oz." How it started was, my mom used to be a costumer, just as a hobby, for local community theater, so when the local elementary school did a production of "The Wizard of Oz," she helped make the costumes. That's how I started watching the movie, and then I was hooked, of course. I was absolutely enthralled by it. I completely grew up watching it.

Is there any pressure that comes with performing such a familiar role? That's the thing: It's such an iconic role, and everyone knows the characteristics and everyhing. I approach the role of Dorothy as my own. I decided that I was going to act it and react to the situations as I would. Because of the script and the speech, it ends up that the Judy Garland aura of Dorothy kind of ends up coming out anyway. People tell me that I share many of the characteristics of Judy Garland in that film. I'm a little more spastic, but I try to combat that.

Is the script pretty much like the movie? It is. It was adapted from the film, but it's got a lot more things. Not that it's been modernized in any way — we're true to the time period.

What's your favorite part of the show? My favorite part in the show, I think, is the poppy scene. You know, when Dorothy and her friends are almost to the Emerald City, and they fall into a poppy field that the witch has enchanted, and it makes them fall asleep? In that scene, the poppies are dancers, and they are so beautiful. It's mind boggling. And there's this transformation where they transform into snowflakes onstage. Wonderful effects and costumes, and it's so cool. Meanwhile, I'm just asleep in the middle of them, getting to absorb it all.

What are some of your other favorite shows? My favorite musical of all time is "Parade" by Jason Robert Brown. Completely not the genre of "The Wizard of Oz" whatsoever — it's really dark. It's a very brooding, dark show, but I really love stuff like that. Like Sondheim — anything by Sondheim. It's all very musically complicated and thoughtful. That's usually the kind of shows I really like.

What shows would you love to be in next? Oh, anything! I haven't thought about this — I've been so wrapped up in this. I'm gonna go back to school, you know. I might do whatever show they have at school and continue to audition outside the city. So whatever comes up, I guess.

When you're not studying or working, what do you like to do? What am I going to do? I'm going to read books! That's my favorite activity. I'm kind of a nerd.

What's on your iPod? I'm listening to Of Montreal and Janelle Monae. Not a lot of theater, come to think of it, which is kind of unusual because I love musical theater. I don't have any theater on my iPod! I have really weird indie bands.

By Gabe Hartwig • ©2010 St. Louis Post-Dispatch, STLtoday.com • Published 11.24.10

Theater review: Twister drops Dorothy into a sloppy 'Oz'

Members of the original cast of "The Wizard of Oz" (Handout)

It really isn't fair to compare "The Wizard of Oz," playing at the Fox Theatre through Sunday, to "Wicked." But anyone who's seen "Wicked" at least once will come away from "The Wizard of Oz" feeling a bit underwhelmed.

"Wicked" takes familiar material and enhances it, partly by changing the point of view. Somehow, though, this adaptation of "Oz" manages to mute a lot of the shine and glitz we've come to expect, making even Munchkinland and the Emerald City seem drab.

"The Wizard of Oz," directed by Nigel West, mostly follows the familiar 1939 film — right down to the sepia-toned opening, which was absolutely perfect in execution — but it also takes liberties and adds twists.

Some work; others don't.

Many of the special effects in the show are created with projections, which are astounding to watch — especially the twister scene, which is a spectacle.

But others, namely any scene where a character must fly, are sloppy. Glinda's floating bubble (which looks a lot like Glinda's bubble in "Wicked") is anything but graceful and on opening night never completely disappeared from view after floating offstage. Much of the scenery looks dreary and amateurish.

Given the realistic feel of certain scenes, it seems an odd fit that other scenes are so abstract. The poppies, for instance, are just dancers in red dresses and vests. And the talking trees are dancers in sexy, black dresses and tall (Lady Gaga-inspired?) hairdos.

A dance number that was cut from the film returns in this show: "the Jitterbug," wherein the Wicked Witch dispatches enchanted bugs to bite Dorothy and her friends, forcing them to dance until they drop. The costumes, choreography, lighting and energy in this scene should have been the standard for the rest of the show.

The acting and singing, though, is quite strong, especially Kate Bristol as Dorothy and Pat Sibley as the Wicked Witch of the West.

Bristol, who shows lots of wide-eyed wonder and never goes too far by trying to be Judy Garland, is charming. Her "Over the Rainbow" doesn't copy Garland's, and it's just beautiful.

Sibley embodies Margaret Hamilton's evil, cackling witch from the film, and it serves her well. (Her green makeup really ought to cover her visible neck, though.)

Other standouts include Jesse Coleman (Lion), Beau Hutchings (in a truly dreadful Tin Man costume), Andrew Haserlat (Scarecrow), Robert John Biedermann (the Wizard of Oz) and, of course, Dusty (Toto). Members of the Muny Kids play Munchkins and Winkies.

Children — this show's primary audience, clearly — will love "The Wizard of Oz." In the end, that's most important. But the adults who pay for the tickets deserve a little more polish.

By Gabe Hartwig • ©2010 St. Louis Post-Dispatch, STLtoday.com • Published 11.27.10

That is not what she said

TWSS?

This is not Carol House, and these are not nice things

Mounted animal heads sold separately.

I went home to Cape Girardeau, Mo., last weekend to visit the family, which means my brother and I stopped by West Park Mall to shop and judge people. This was the highlight of our visit: a camouflage-print recliner displayed alongside an antler lamp and what appears to be a tablecloth made from woodland creatures.

Christmas in the Lou

Looking a lot like Christmas

There's a classy, cool way to modify architectural lighting for the holidays. And then there's this.

'Teenage Dream' by the Dalton Warblers

One of the best adaptations in "Glee" history:

Theater review: 'A Woman's Place' isn't necessarily on this stage

"A Woman's Place," West End Players Guild's second production of its 100th season, feels a lot like an uneven episode of "Saturday Night Live" — probably not the outcome directors Renee Sevier-Monsey and Carrie Phinney were going for Friday with their staging of four one-act shows.

A cast of six takes on multiple roles in "Trifles" by Susan Glaspell, "Australia" (at about five minutes, more of a scene than an act) by David Mamet, "Hello Out There" by William Saroyan and "Ashes to Ashes" by Harold Pinter. The pieces' common factor: Each deals with women tested by extreme situations such as rape and murder.

While such an undertaking has a lot of potential, the quality of the acting in this effort varies so wildly to the point where it's just distracting. Compelling performances often are mismatched with actors who are just delivering lines (and making an uncomfortable amount of eye contact with the audience).

There are some notable performances, though. Susan Elaine Rasch is solid in three of the pieces. Her portrayals seem effortless, and "Australia," basically a monologue, is an enjoyable showcase of her range.

Anthony Wininger, as a man jailed for rape in "Hello Out There," is paired appropriately with Elissa Schrader, who plays a 17-year-old with a misguided attraction to him. The two display chemistry — well, as much chemistry as a naive teenager can have with an accused rapist — and their inexplicable love-at-first-sight relationship is a delight to watch.

"Ashes to Ashes," which seems to go on forever, would have been more tolerable with quicker pacing. Pinter's writing is clever, and there's a fairly interesting plot in there someplace, but the glacial speed makes it nearly incomprehensible. Nancy Lubowitz does a fine job channeling Rebecca, a disturbed woman who emotionally — and sometimes comically — recalls an abusive lover from her past.

The cast also includes Chuck Lavazzi and Sean Ruprecht-Belt.

All four shows play out on a drab set designed for "Trifles," which takes place in 1916. But a bare stage with just a few key furnishings — and better use of lighting to establish the moods and locations — may have been a more effective approach. Too often, the stage lights illuminated much of the house, a reminder that it's a church basement.

West End Players Guild deserves applause for attempting an evening of one-acts. But in the end, character development and better pacing would have made for a more enjoyable evening of theater.

By Gabe Hartwig • ©2010 St. Louis Post-Dispatch, STLtoday.com • Published 11.09.10

15-minute call: a little something for my theater friends

A friend shared this on Facebook a few weeks ago, and I can't believe I failed to repost it here.

Does anyone still wear a hat?

Feathers!

Yes, Elaine.

Another of my new obsessions: riding MetroLink. Today's ride (to Brentwood to buy my mom a birthday present) was full of adorable ladies in gigantic hats, presumably on their way home from America's Center downtown, where 40,000 members of the Church of God in Christ have gathered.

The woman sitting in front of me wore a bedazzled velvet hat, but a lady across the aisle sported feathered headgear. She won my imaginary contest.

I'm obsessed with the taco truck

The Cha Cha Chow truck at Market and 10th streets

Beef short-rib taco: hamazing.

The arrival of the Cha Cha Chow truck (twitter.com/whereschacha) has been life changing. My favorite item on the menu: the beef short-rib taco.

A few redesigned sections

A few weeks ago, I prototyped a new Post-Dispatch section called Home & Away, which resulted in some design tinkering in the other features sections (A&E and Let's Eat), as well. I put together these before-and-afters today to show a friend at another newspaper, so I figured I'd post 'em here, too.



A Saturday Lifestyle cover and two new Sunday Home & Away covers (designer: Reagan Branham)



A "before" A&E cover and an "after" A&E cover (designer: Laura Black)



The most jellicle T-shirt ever

Meow meow Jennyanydots meow.

I won't lie: I considered buying it. Good sense ultimately won, though.

At Urban Outfitters

Many mini sock monkeys

A bin of monkeys

At Crate & Barrel

Typography on dishware

Shake, Chill, Stir and sip plates: $3.95 each or four for $12.95

At Crate & Barrel

Feathered-hair special

One word: conditioner.

She's on sale at Grand Wig House, and it's no mystery why.

For that sophioated looks

Sophioated looks, by Junee Fash'ion

I love the creative spelling — or not spelling — on this weave packaging. 

Blank stares

Time for the annual Halloween visit to Grand Wig House! All those disembodied heads are so scary.

Interco Plaza is no more

Looking north to the St. Louis Post-Dispatch, over the former Interco Plaza

The view from 900 N. Tucker

Sausage party?

These e-mail blasts drive me nuts. Especially the subject lines, which are always written in the first person.
I wouldn't rule out sausage making as a way to grow revenue creatively and rapidly down the road, though.

Cat-shaped wine!

I'm totes adding this to my shopping list for my next visit to Culinaria. And possibly for some holiday shopping.

Anybody know what these things are?

These robot-shaped things are all over the streets downtown. But why? Why??

Coming next month: Jive & Wail

At Washington Avenue and 13th Street.

Please leave my $#*! alone

File this under "passive aggressive notes." Found on the sidewalk behind my loft building, I suspect it was left by a homeless person on his/her pile of belongings.

Halloween typography

I'm easily wooed by products that are well designed. Especially at Target. These Halloween-themed napkins and plates are so cool that I'm tempted to host a Halloween party just to have an excuse to buy 'em.